n this new column, sex historian Dr. Kate Lister, of Leeds Trinity University, explores the ways in which people from around the world approach love, sex, and marriage.
Every mating ritual on the planet boils down to trying to impress your intended. Whether you’re a long tailed macaque exposing your hindquarters, or a human posting selfies to Tinder, it’s all about showing off the goods.
But, selling yourself doesn’t come naturally to us Brits – especially in the dating world. We get all awkward and downplay our best features because we don’t want to be thought of as a show off, when what we should be doing is bigging ourselves up. Which is why we could stand to learn a thing or two from the Wodaabe, a nomadic people from Africa, who migrate across Niger, Cameroon, Nigeria, and Chad.
“When it comes to sex, the women are in charge”
The Wodaabe are a good looking bunch, and they’re not modest about it either. There’s none of your bashful British reserve here. In fact, the Wodaabe have been called ‘the vainest people in the world’. I’m not sure ‘vain’ is the right word, but it’s true that a central part of Wodaabe culture is beauty.
You might not think there is anything special about that, after all our own culture is saturated with images of beautiful bodies, but the Wodaabe prize male beauty over female beauty, and it is the men who spend hours putting their make up on. Of course, the women also take a great deal of care in their appearance, but it pales in comparison with the amount of time their menfolk invest in their grooming routines.
Wodaabe means ‘People of the Taboos’, which refers to the numerous cultural dos and don’ts that structure their daily life. For example, the Wodaabe never call loved ones by their name – which must make locating them in a crowd quite difficult. It is considered a mark of respect not to be overly affectionate towards a loved one, and this includes the use of their first name. The Wodaabe also have strict tabooed behaviour around hygiene, eating, and, of course, sex.
The first marriage of any Wodaabe man or woman is usually arranged by their parents from a very young age. But, the Wodaabe don’t practice monogamy, and there is no shame in married men and women having lovers, though strict taboos dictate you may only have one marriage partner at a time. Although the Wodaabe are a patriarchal society, when it comes to sex, the women are in charge. Nowhere is this more clearly demonstrated than at the annual Gerewol fertility festival which culminates in a beauty contest – the men compete and the women judge.
But, selling yourself doesn’t come naturally to us Brits – especially in the dating world. We get all awkward and downplay our best features because we don’t want to be thought of as a show off, when what we should be doing is bigging ourselves up. Which is why we could stand to learn a thing or two from the Wodaabe, a nomadic people from Africa, who migrate across Niger, Cameroon, Nigeria, and Chad.
“When it comes to sex, the women are in charge”
The Wodaabe are a good looking bunch, and they’re not modest about it either. There’s none of your bashful British reserve here. In fact, the Wodaabe have been called ‘the vainest people in the world’. I’m not sure ‘vain’ is the right word, but it’s true that a central part of Wodaabe culture is beauty.
You might not think there is anything special about that, after all our own culture is saturated with images of beautiful bodies, but the Wodaabe prize male beauty over female beauty, and it is the men who spend hours putting their make up on. Of course, the women also take a great deal of care in their appearance, but it pales in comparison with the amount of time their menfolk invest in their grooming routines.
Wodaabe means ‘People of the Taboos’, which refers to the numerous cultural dos and don’ts that structure their daily life. For example, the Wodaabe never call loved ones by their name – which must make locating them in a crowd quite difficult. It is considered a mark of respect not to be overly affectionate towards a loved one, and this includes the use of their first name. The Wodaabe also have strict tabooed behaviour around hygiene, eating, and, of course, sex.
