Tactic #1: Join a same-sex social group
“Join a networking or social group or a sports team that isn’t coed,” suggests relationship expert and “Love Coach” Rinatta Paries of Vancouver, WA. Why the same-sex connection? Well, women and men know men and women whom they are not dating but who may be great for you to date. “Once you create new social friendships, the people in your group will be happy to set you up on many dates with other people they know,” says Paries. “It may be a sibling, cousin, neighbor, a business associate or someone else they run across who immediately makes them think of you.” In other words, making new same-sex friends can lead to love connections you would never have made otherwise.
Tactic #2: Keep business cards handy
How many times have you met someone nice in an unexpected place but had no easy way to suggest connecting again? It happens! And then later you kick yourself for not just saying, “Hey, should we get a coffee sometime or something?” Here’s a really easy solution to avoid those missed social opportunities.
If you’re looking to meet your potential match, always, always, always keep a business/contact card with you (in your pocket, purse, wallet, or whatever). “I’ve met interesting people while waiting at the vet’s office,” says networking expert Ronna Lichtenberg, author of Pitch Like a Girl: Get Respect, Get Noticed, Get What You Want. “You never know…
you could end up meeting Mr. or Ms. Right over a possible pet adoption!” Feel uneasy about giving out a card with all your private info to strangers? Print a version with just your first name and an email address. You’ll find that whipping out a card is a lot easier way to make a connection than suggesting you exchange numbers while fumbling for a pen and an old receipt to scribble the digits on.
Tactic #3: Do things you love
If you’re single, you’ve probably been told to join activities where you are likely to meet other single people, whether or not you are interested in the pursuit involved. FYI, people can see through activity posers. They’ll know the subject at hand isn’t really your cup of tea, and you’ll just wind up looking shallow.
A better bet? Forget about doing what everyone else is doing, and focus instead on what you dig. “You need to spend time doing the things you love so when you see someone that you are attracted to in that setting, you will have plenty to talk about,” suggests Los Angeles-based dating coach David Wygant. “You want to meet someone who shares the same passions, and the best places to do that are where you are enjoying yourself. So pick four things you love to do and pursue them.”
Tactic #4: Call upon classmate connections
Tactic #4: Call upon classmate connections
OK, even if you weren’t valedictorian, class jock or on the prom court, you’d be amazed how reconnecting with the past can expand your future. There is just something about those old flames, school cliques and even enemies that can add spice to your adult life (plus, if these people saw you with braces or feathered hair, well…
then they are likely to accept you now as well!). “If you went to college, take a look at the alumni website — they’ve been undergoing massive improvements!” says British political commentator Imogen Lloyd Webber, author of The Single Girl’s Survival Guide. “You’ll be able to find alumni in your area and you may well have much in common — whether they were a few years below or above you.”
Tactic #5: Go outside your generation
Tactic #5: Go outside your generation
Who says Gen X, Y, Z and whatever-other-letters can’t mix? Too many people tend to narrow their social circle to their demographic group. A better bet? Strive to be cross-generational! “Don’t limit yourself to meeting people your own age,” says Lichtenberg. “Everyone has families, and I have heard more than one story about moms, aunts and siblings engineering meetings that turned into marriages.”
Tactic #6: Attend self-help seminars
Looking for meaningful relationships? You might want to skip the happy hour. Though it does happen on occasion that a cocktail leads to happily-ever-after, you might find more people who are interested in something more at seminars and self-betterment workshops. “People at personal-growth workshops and at seminars are typically more interested in connecting and creating friendships,” says Paries. “You may meet your mate, or you may meet someone who becomes one of your closest friends and becomes instrumental in you meeting your mate. Also, in the process, you will learn to improve the quality of your life and relationships.”
Tactic #7: Practice sharing your friends
It’s a pretty good bet that if you really, really like a friend of yours, you’ll probably like at least a few of your friend’s friends as well. For that reason, it’s not a bad idea to invite friends to bring a pal to something you’re doing, even as simple as getting coffee. “It’s OK to say, ‘I want to meet more people like you because I think you’re great,’” says Lichtenberg. “People you like will know people you like.” Finally, get in the habit of following up with any new potential friends you make.
“There are too many people we meet and kind of like but don’t have a ‘system’ for following up — it can be as simple as emailing people like that the next day,” says Lichtenberg. “However, the more people you know, the more people who will have the chance to know about you.” In other words, go forth and get social. Your love life may thank you!
